13 Years of Lies And Secrets
Posted by an anonymous user on 11/1/2007 8:16:00 PM
I have a brother shot only 5 years ago on Halloween. Today, 11/1/07 I broke down in school and I can't even think. I let it all go to the closest friend I have in that class and since none of you know me, here I go. Ever year I feel like a failure. I feel like I am letting my brother, myself and my family down. My biggest goal in life if to be just like him but I fear I will NEVER even become CLOSE to what he was like. I feel like killing myself and sometimes I nearly do. My parents think I'm an idiot but to be truth full, I'm 13 and smarter then both of them and most of my teachers. Ontop of all this, I have a love problem. For the last month I haven't been able to think about girls except three. A 6th grader only 2 years younger then me. She is so sweet but I am a complete trouble maker. My ex-girlfriend who cuts herself but I don't care. I just want to be close to her. It's no worse then what I do sometimes anyway and last a friend in my 5th period. She is so sweet, (Alittle slow and she can't spell for crap.). But I feel like every girl hates me.My friend tells me they don't know what their missing but what is there to miss, People think I am the spawn of Satan and that I don't have a heart but I do and it aches every day even though I look happy and cheerful. Someone help me!
Tags: life, sucks, secrets, lies, ex-girlfriend
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Tags: life, sucks, secrets, lies, ex-girlfriend
Comments
RSS feed for comments on this post.
why has emokid13 say :thanks alot:
mmmmmmmmm now for a start you should not speeking your secrets when people that u know are on line olr have there own because they can SHIT SERR and i have friends which do that
but anyway if you dont know emokid than dont worry i will send you a comment in a min kk
p.s this nothing to do with ur story soz just ur safey
good bye
mmmmmmmmm now for a start you should not speeking your secrets when people that u know are on line olr have there own because they can SHIT SERR and i have friends which do that
but anyway if you dont know emokid than dont worry i will send you a comment in a min kk
p.s this nothing to do with ur story soz just ur safey
good bye
Posted by Me on 11/23/2007 12:06:00 PM (Report abuse)
I just can't imagine the idea of everyone knowing all the things that I hold inside. (Everyone being the kids at school.) I don't want a therapist because the kids will think I'm crazy... :( This is so hard.
Posted by Emokid13 on 11/5/2007 1:00:00 PM (Report abuse)
It is easy to remember the dead as being perfect. I'm sure your brother was not really perfect and would not expect you to be perfect either. Quit trying to live up to an image that isn't real.
Go see a counsellor, or a therapist, or talk to someone you can trust. Deal with the loss of your brother and your other problems will be so much easier to deal with.
Go see a counsellor, or a therapist, or talk to someone you can trust. Deal with the loss of your brother and your other problems will be so much easier to deal with.
Posted by Shangki on 11/3/2007 12:48:00 PM (Report abuse)
ok, dont kill your self, its sooo not worth it! you are only 13 dont blame yourself for anything!!! just respect your brother and his death, because if it wasnt for a good reoason god would not have let him go. also let your heart tell you the girl you really want, and take each step one by one. if it is necassary ask your parents to sign you up for a therapist session
Posted by Dessoan on 11/2/2007 11:13:00 PM (Report abuse)
Thanks alot.
Posted by Emokid13 on 11/2/2007 12:59:00 PM (Report abuse)
Hey the best thing that helps is to try to open up. Dont be afraid to open up. It looks like you are bottling up your fears and emotions and anger and everything else. Others are interpreting that in different ways. You end up being burdened with emotional baggage. It is a lose-lose situation. It doesn't really matter what others think of you. Just try to open and be open with everyone. That is a real sign of maturity and coolness. It shows that you don't care for other people and you are the one who is setting the trends. Your brother's genes are in you and soon you will find yourself being compared to him and you will find that you will live up to not only your expectations but everyone elses too
Posted by JeyR on 11/2/2007 4:42:00 AM (Report abuse)