Abusive relationship
Posted by an anonymous user on 10/15/2007 9:38:00 PM
i need to post this secret to gain some sanity. I have been a carer of my 18 yr old son, who has challenging behaviour which is very stressful and has had a serious impact on my life and relationships. I have also been involved with a man for 10yrs. He had a very abusive childhood and tended to come and go all the time, be very secretive and deceptive but then at othertimes he appeared very unconfident, gullible etc. I am now left in a situation where as this man has left, there were rumours he was seeing my friend.
My secret i wish to put forward is that i am very scared there is now something very wrong with me. This mans behaviour on a daily basis was very inconsistent,deceptive, abusive. I am really scared as now he has left i drink alot, i think about him all the time and keep texting him all the time. why! what is so wrong with me to do this. I know that he constantly used to come and go for every minor reason, i thought this was because he was upset, couldn't cope, couldn't talk things through due to his background, i used to then call him up each time - to talk to him and resolve difficulties which were not resolved each time he walked out.
I am almost scared to admit that i appear to have developed a serious problem. is this stalking someone, why can i not stop thinking about him. I had no closure when he left but why do i continuously try to text him. I try to provoke him to react to me, to speak to me - yet he doesn't care. I constantly think of moving away to another part of the country, and even lied to him that i was arranging this - just to provoke him into speaking to me.
Please if anyone can tell me what is wrong with me, because i feel i am out of control and appear to be in so much pain that i cannot function properly. I am in a limited situation as i constantly have to care for my son, but desperately need to work but cant. I feel very scared and very ashamed of how pathetic i am behaving but am to scared to tell anyone. I know my behaviour is something to do with abuse, but surely its an abuser who stalks, or keeps bothering the person who they are abusing , not the abused doing this. if anyone can shed any light on this it would be a big help, coz i cannot admit this to anyone and feel too ashamed.
Tags: obsession, control, abusive, abuse, gullible, stressful, pathetic
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My secret i wish to put forward is that i am very scared there is now something very wrong with me. This mans behaviour on a daily basis was very inconsistent,deceptive, abusive. I am really scared as now he has left i drink alot, i think about him all the time and keep texting him all the time. why! what is so wrong with me to do this. I know that he constantly used to come and go for every minor reason, i thought this was because he was upset, couldn't cope, couldn't talk things through due to his background, i used to then call him up each time - to talk to him and resolve difficulties which were not resolved each time he walked out.
I am almost scared to admit that i appear to have developed a serious problem. is this stalking someone, why can i not stop thinking about him. I had no closure when he left but why do i continuously try to text him. I try to provoke him to react to me, to speak to me - yet he doesn't care. I constantly think of moving away to another part of the country, and even lied to him that i was arranging this - just to provoke him into speaking to me.
Please if anyone can tell me what is wrong with me, because i feel i am out of control and appear to be in so much pain that i cannot function properly. I am in a limited situation as i constantly have to care for my son, but desperately need to work but cant. I feel very scared and very ashamed of how pathetic i am behaving but am to scared to tell anyone. I know my behaviour is something to do with abuse, but surely its an abuser who stalks, or keeps bothering the person who they are abusing , not the abused doing this. if anyone can shed any light on this it would be a big help, coz i cannot admit this to anyone and feel too ashamed.
Tags: obsession, control, abusive, abuse, gullible, stressful, pathetic
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Being abused is taking drugs, you get addicted...
not to the fact you are being abused, but for the good times that are really very good, because they do this just to confuse you and keep you around. Girl just see someone that can help you, it's very hard to get out of this situation alone!
take care!
not to the fact you are being abused, but for the good times that are really very good, because they do this just to confuse you and keep you around. Girl just see someone that can help you, it's very hard to get out of this situation alone!
take care!
Posted by Flower_child on 10/20/2007 5:33:00 PM (Report abuse)
I think you might feel you need this person and cant continue without him. You are lucky he left, it leaves you to concentrate on what is most important to you right now, your son. This man was a bully to you and was more of a hendrence than a help to you. Drinking is becoming your new obession and does not enable to think through your situation as it numbs your brain and body. Tell me how this helps your son or how drinking will help you with caring for yourself and your son. Dont bother with him, you are just used to him being around and bullying you, so it feels like something is missing in your life. I agree with Shayna, seek out your friends or seek professional counseling. Best friends are the best support. And forget about that abusive bully. He deserves whatever he gets and he will get what he seeks. Put the alcohol down and thank goodness this butthead is out of your life. You will meet some man some day who can appreciate the wonderful caring woman that you are. He will see the love you have for your son and all the care and love you give him and will want to give that to you. Believe me. The quicker you let this idiot out of your life and your head things will get better...I promise..
ps..you can talk to me too...I will be there for you as well...been there done that...Life really is good honey...give it a chance..
ps..you can talk to me too...I will be there for you as well...been there done that...Life really is good honey...give it a chance..
Posted by Patti on 10/18/2007 12:07:00 AM (Report abuse)
Hi honey, There is a solution for every problem. So i dont think you will find the answer in drinking, think about your son...he needs you. The best thing for you is to stop txting the guy for some time, if he loves or need your help he will come back to you..but dont pesterise him.. I know what you are going through..please pray only God can help you... I have been through all these problems in my life ...and i know what obsession means..find someone else, go out with friends. If you want my help, dont hesitate to contact me... Take care
Posted by Shanya on 10/16/2007 2:30:00 AM (Report abuse)