We met at his 21'st birthday party and we made out.
He had a reputation of being a sweet guy.
My best friends boyfriend at the time was pretty good friends with him.
We all went to a party together.
There he took me on a quad ride.
He kept stoping it and trying to kiss me and telling me how much he liked me but I was just too young for him to date.(I was 14 he was 21) but I just kept saying I wanted to go back the camp site.
This happened 3 times on the trip.
On the third time the quad wouldnt start again.
I layed down on the ground I was so mad he couldnt start it.
he then came over to me and started to kiss me.
my thinking was if I kissed him he would just leave me alone when get back to camp.
He started to get more aggressive.
He undid my pants and I told him no that he needs to stop.
He still continued to go on with what he was doing.
I started to cry as he raped me and begged him to stop.
He stopped finally.
I jumped up so fast and started to head to camp.
he ran after me and said it was 4 miles back to camp.
I had no idea how to get back so I just waited until the others came to jump the quad.
On the way back he saw me wipe tears away and asked if he did something wrong.
In my head I was scream "Yes you did something fucking wrong.You raped me, how could you."
But all I could say was no.
I went back to camp and desided to get really drunk and forget about it.
Yes I know messed up way to deal with it..
I ended up in another town and had to call him to pick me up the next morning.
I was sick to my stomache to even be next to him.
About a year ago I saw him again.
We talked some things out it felt good to tell him what he did was wrong.
He is now planning on getting married but wants to see me before he actually marries her.
He doesnt think he can have a happy family knowing he made part of my life hell.
Even though he wishes at times he could have me instead of her..like wtf.
I honestly dont know what to do.
I told him that I cant talk to him until I am fully ready to.
But the worst part of it all is a want to talk to him now..
but dont have a way to get a hold of him.
I'm sorry this is so long.
I just needed to get some of my feelings out.