I wasn't expecting that, this fast, today. There won't be a last night spent over next door. The bed is gone, along with everything else except for some odds here and there. All of his furniture has been removed. He just came back to get his car, knocked on my door. I think that if I sounded like I was feeling better, he might have asked me to stay at his new place,tonight. This will be his first night there. I know I'll see him tomorrow when he picks up some more things, but I thought I had more time with him. He's paid up to the end of the month, and he wants to still have a field day with the nuisance neighbour who had been causing all the trouble in the building, but the situationship is over. He is no longer my neighbour. I went over there to help slightly with the move, but then silently ducked out back into my place for a weep. He collected me for a bit of pizza before moving the Uhaul out.
And, when he came back for his car, just now, I wish I had sounded better, I wish my apartment was clean enough to invite him in. I wish I wasn't covered in towels from just coming out of the bath. I wish I weren't so quiet around him, even more so when I'm upset. I wish I could have gone with him, tonight. He won't be knocking on my door, tonight, or texting me to come watch a show. It won't ever happen like that again. I am left behind by someone I am dedicated to, one more time. I'm once again here alone.