He was going to rape me anyway i couldn't of stopped him

I feel like crap I don't get why this keeps happing to me.
not this exactly but its not exactly the first time a cunt tried to rape me.
but this time I didn't even stop it I just flipped into slut survival mode.
he said earlier he always carried a knife I didn't want to die, not yet, not anymore.
I know the consequences of saying no to cunts like him.
i'm disgusted by what Ive done it makes me feel sicker then if he did rape me .
I can still taste him three weeks after its horrid I can still feel his tool on me, in me, over me.
his hand massaging my neck his hand squeezing my Boobs his hands in my hair.
him pulling me around by my hair him fucking me to the ground him forcing his tool down my throat,
his knee on my stomach his cum all over me, my stomach, my tits, my vag, my hair my face, my mouth
him saying how he loved me that he could tell I was a nice person and how the heart just speeks for its self.
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anonymous user
tank u (i2have1nothing7)
im sorry it happened to u too
its just still so fresh and hurts but am tankful it was a stranger as its so much worse when you know the guy
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anonymous user
oh my god, i didn't go that far but that happened to me.... it was much more minor. god i hope you'll feel better. idk what the situation was, so what i'll tell you is: you did well to survive, and even better to tell someone. :) feel better and don't take it upon yourself, k? rape is totally not okay and it's not your fault. to be honest, i would have done the same thing. just go along with it. i'm so sorry that ever happened to you, but know that you have a friend and you can talk to me if you want.
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i2have1nothing7