I hate my best friend and have secretly replaced him.
Posted by ColdCalfCity on 5/31/2008 2:39:00 PM
My best friend has a group of friends they refer to as their "crew" (ironically - they're very middle class). He'll talk about things he's doing with them and I'll get really really angry, which I guess is jealousy although I really don't think I'm usually a jealous person.
Even though I'm very good friends with all of them, they still don't consider me part of their "crew", which wouldn't bother me apart from it means they don't invite me to anything, despite the fact I invite them to everything I organise and, like I said, my best friend is in it.
It just makes me feel like shit when I sit around at home and know they're off having a party at one of their houses with just their cosy little group. They even "inducted" some guy into their group because he had some cool gadget the guys wanted to abuse, rather than any genuine feelings of warmth for the dude. He tells me everything about it all the time and doesn't seem to realise how annoying and upsetting I find it when he talks about stuff he goes to with all of these people I consider my inner circle without inviting me.
Sometimes he even says "oh, you would've liked it this happened and this happened, you should have come" even though nobody ever talks to me about it beforehand, even if I'm talking to them at the time, and they're like "Oh, i have to go i'm going out with The Crew." with this little grin like i'm supposed to still find it amusing they call themselves a crew, because, you know, it's like, funny, yeah? God...
I just feel like I should never invite them to anything I do ever again. And when I do have a friend over (in particular one friend he used to date a while ago), he always tries to subtly hint to get him to come over to, but I really don't want him there anymore because it makes me feel like shit later when they have ANOTHER party and he tells me all about how much fun it was. They have their own injokes too, and if they say something that's "crew jokes" and I ask what, they go "Oh, haha, don't worry, it's a crew thing."
I guess the upside of all this is soon they're all going off to college and I'm moving to america, so I won't have to deal with their shit anymore. The sad thing is I really don't think they realise what a fucked up little clique they've started. If I told them that's what it was, they would glare at me and scoff, but it's a completely exclusionary bloody clique. They don't realise what they're like at all. And it makes me hate them.
It's not like they're horrible people, and it's not like they hate me. It's just they're complete assholes.
I just wish I didn't have to deal with this shit during my last few weeks in the UK. It depresses me. It's not really such a large problem, because I have a ton of other friends I much more like hanging out with. But the problem with that is I'm not quite part of any other group either. It's not a problem at school cause I definitely have a group, it's just outside of school I'm left at this hotel I'm staying at with nothing to do and feeling completely alone with the TV. And there is no school right now, cause we're all doing exams.
Anyway, fuck em. I hope they have fun at college...while I'm in the sun, with non-assholes. I'm sure they'll have lots of clique-y fun without me.
So, in summary, my secret is i hate my best friend, and have secretly replaced him without mentioning it.
xxx
Tags: bestfriend, jealous, asshole
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Even though I'm very good friends with all of them, they still don't consider me part of their "crew", which wouldn't bother me apart from it means they don't invite me to anything, despite the fact I invite them to everything I organise and, like I said, my best friend is in it.
It just makes me feel like shit when I sit around at home and know they're off having a party at one of their houses with just their cosy little group. They even "inducted" some guy into their group because he had some cool gadget the guys wanted to abuse, rather than any genuine feelings of warmth for the dude. He tells me everything about it all the time and doesn't seem to realise how annoying and upsetting I find it when he talks about stuff he goes to with all of these people I consider my inner circle without inviting me.
Sometimes he even says "oh, you would've liked it this happened and this happened, you should have come" even though nobody ever talks to me about it beforehand, even if I'm talking to them at the time, and they're like "Oh, i have to go i'm going out with The Crew." with this little grin like i'm supposed to still find it amusing they call themselves a crew, because, you know, it's like, funny, yeah? God...
I just feel like I should never invite them to anything I do ever again. And when I do have a friend over (in particular one friend he used to date a while ago), he always tries to subtly hint to get him to come over to, but I really don't want him there anymore because it makes me feel like shit later when they have ANOTHER party and he tells me all about how much fun it was. They have their own injokes too, and if they say something that's "crew jokes" and I ask what, they go "Oh, haha, don't worry, it's a crew thing."
I guess the upside of all this is soon they're all going off to college and I'm moving to america, so I won't have to deal with their shit anymore. The sad thing is I really don't think they realise what a fucked up little clique they've started. If I told them that's what it was, they would glare at me and scoff, but it's a completely exclusionary bloody clique. They don't realise what they're like at all. And it makes me hate them.
It's not like they're horrible people, and it's not like they hate me. It's just they're complete assholes.
I just wish I didn't have to deal with this shit during my last few weeks in the UK. It depresses me. It's not really such a large problem, because I have a ton of other friends I much more like hanging out with. But the problem with that is I'm not quite part of any other group either. It's not a problem at school cause I definitely have a group, it's just outside of school I'm left at this hotel I'm staying at with nothing to do and feeling completely alone with the TV. And there is no school right now, cause we're all doing exams.
Anyway, fuck em. I hope they have fun at college...while I'm in the sun, with non-assholes. I'm sure they'll have lots of clique-y fun without me.
So, in summary, my secret is i hate my best friend, and have secretly replaced him without mentioning it.
xxx
Tags: bestfriend, jealous, asshole
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