I hate myself because I'm gay.
Posted by Mixture on 8/21/2008 8:22:00 AM
I'm seventeen, and when I was 14/15, I figured I was homosexual, and I got a girlfriend, and I was fairly happy with being a lesbian. Then, inevitably, I split up with her, but it was ok because we weren't really a well-matched couple, just together because we both happened to like girls. Now, I'm nearly 18 and the thought of being gay terrifies me, and I can't work out why, because I have no problem with gay people, homosexuality as a concept or anything like that, I just seem to have a problem with me being gay. I just don't want to become - and you have no idea how much i hate myself for saying this - one of those terrifying forty-something dykes, with the angry faces and all that agression. I couldn't stand it. I know it's wrong to fear, jugde and stereotype people like that, but I can't seem to get past it, and it's making me feel terrible.
Tags: hate, gay, homosexual, lesbian
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Tags: hate, gay, homosexual, lesbian
Comments
RSS feed for comments on this post.
Its okay. I had just about the same experience. I kind of just knew all along I was a Lesbian, I looooved gay people & everything, stood up for Gay Rights, but did NOT want to be a Lesbian. The only Lesbians I knew and saw were such dykes and I did not want to be like that, and I didn't want that stigma. But then I found out about 'Lipstick Lesbians'. Basically, they are straight up Lesbians, but they look really girly and straight. I am a Lipstick Lesbian now. All you see of Lesbians are the big dykes, basically beacuse that is what is funny to people, and because it takes the world a LOOOONG time to recognize a change- and during the 50s Lesbians were basically all either BIG dykes that looked like men or SUPER lipstick lesbians- it was nearly like man/woman roleplay, and also beacuse unfortunatally some people want all Gay people to look bad. Threre are so many in-between dykey & lipstick also... Just be you! Just because your a Lesbian doesn't mean you have to or should be or will be a dyke!!
Posted by rk on 9/28/2008 12:35:00 PM (Report abuse)
DO NOT LISTEN to Sly....they are off their rocker.... Finding someone Christian to help you transform???? Screw all that Christian bull shit.
Be who you feel you are. Don't be afraid. Find a support group online that can help you tell the people who will love and you can trust with your feelings. It is difficult to find out who we are. Sometimes it takes decades...literally.
Society puts alot of stereotypes out there and no one can possibly fit into them and be happy.
I hope you find your inner happiness.
PS...I know lots of beautiful 40, 50 & 60 year old lesbians. They are beautiful because they know who they are and they radiate that. Some are actually very hot looking too!
Good Luck.
Be who you feel you are. Don't be afraid. Find a support group online that can help you tell the people who will love and you can trust with your feelings. It is difficult to find out who we are. Sometimes it takes decades...literally.
Society puts alot of stereotypes out there and no one can possibly fit into them and be happy.
I hope you find your inner happiness.
PS...I know lots of beautiful 40, 50 & 60 year old lesbians. They are beautiful because they know who they are and they radiate that. Some are actually very hot looking too!
Good Luck.
Posted by an anonymous user on 8/22/2008 1:48:00 PM (Report abuse)
SlyNelmaigen - you confuse me. you do know she's a girl right?
anyway
it's so obvious, you are terrified of the gay stereotype, society's judging eyes. No worries, I dont think any lesser of you for that- it definitely is tough. Who wants to feel they have been left behind by society?
All I can is, and you must have heard it a thousand times before, is that you owe it to yourself to give yourself a chance to be who you really are.
The choice between what's right and what's easy for you - no one can decide that for you. What's easy is to become what society expects you to be. What's right for you is first and foremost admitting to yourself who you are.
and that often is the toughest choice.
I hope sincerely you would find your answer soon, love.
anyway
it's so obvious, you are terrified of the gay stereotype, society's judging eyes. No worries, I dont think any lesser of you for that- it definitely is tough. Who wants to feel they have been left behind by society?
All I can is, and you must have heard it a thousand times before, is that you owe it to yourself to give yourself a chance to be who you really are.
The choice between what's right and what's easy for you - no one can decide that for you. What's easy is to become what society expects you to be. What's right for you is first and foremost admitting to yourself who you are.
and that often is the toughest choice.
I hope sincerely you would find your answer soon, love.
Posted by an anonymous user on 8/22/2008 2:58:00 AM (Report abuse)
well i dont actually know you but i think you shouldn't have broken up with your girlfriend.to actually get your problem solved,you really need to talk to someone you trust.Anyway do you have anyone in mind since you broke up with your girlfriend?As a guy, you must always try to make a woman or a girl the way she will suit you.Look for a girl that has good christian home who can actually help transform you from your current state.I know you're young and handsome and definitely girls will come after you one way or the other.Have the courage and make up your mind to stop this gay stuffs..I hope my advice will help you become a better person.Have a nice time.SEEEEEEEEE YAAAAAAAA!
Posted by SlyNelmaigen on 8/21/2008 5:10:00 PM (Report abuse)
do u hate being gay or do u hate the idea of u being gay?, or is it that u don't like how people look at u being gay?
Posted by ripperjoey on 8/21/2008 3:12:00 PM (Report abuse)