Hi, my name is Stephanie and I have been cutting myself for 6 years on and off.I'm 19 now and I want to do it again.Mostly the reason for this is because I'm at my grandparents.My Grandma died 4 years ago and this place brings back bad memories.My aunt seem to hate my family and she lives here with her kids.They all seem to hate me in particular.The reason being is because when I was 8, my cousin told me how he had never had sex (he was 12 at this time) and he'd asked his friend to do it with him but she said no and he was sad so he asked me to.I said okay.We were going to do it down the street on a damp mattress that we put a sheet on.I lied down and he started to get on top of me and then told me to take off my shorts I said no...although the memory of it at this point is really hazy.Sometimes it feels like maybe it was a dream.But the feeling of being a dirty piece of shit is still with me.I don't share this secret with any of my friends or family.Accept when I was 8 I told my mom about it when we got home and she called the cops and shit and then they had people talking to me and my cousin and our family.They were saying he molested me but it doesn't really seem like what happened.Well anyways, that's why I think his family hates me, and him especially.I just want to cut.I really really want to.Unfortunately, I forgot my razor at home and I can't.It's the only thing I really like to use.I suppose I could just disassemble another disposable razor and take the blades.
