I Hope I Leave

When I'm no longer needed, I'm no longer wanted. I feel like I already knew this deep down. I wish I could open a secret door on the ground, and fall through. It's appealing because then there would be no way back. The choice would be made for me. My home would be destroyed. I would be rootless and no one would care at all if I lived or survived because apparently when im out of sight Im out of mind. We are someone's option. Or everyone's. The first mistake was believing in hope and love. It's all bull sh it until it isn't, until it's real for you. And then it isnt. And you tell yourself youll never ever let yourself be fooled again. Future faking pranks. You got me. Always hanging onto the end of the puppet strings and wishing. I know no one means to hurt anyone. I know I dont. I want to save the world from myself. Im the broken glass you walk on apparently. Im glad you left. I hope everyone leaves. I hope I leave.
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safetynetxo
You dont have to apologize either, I appreciate you responding at all. You're probably right that I need to stop hoping that people are dependable. I pretty much go out of my way to bend but when it really comes down to taking action I have to convince and beg and even then in the end when it really came down to taking action, nothing. I cant help feeling like Im the one thats inherently not good enough and not worth it.
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safetynetxo
It sounds like you're the one who got f****d over, so why are you apologizing to the world? You don't owe anyone anything. I've learned a long time ago that you can't depend on other people, you can only trust yourself (if that). Nurture yourself and find a new reason to move on.

(Apologies if I've interpreted this the wrong way)