I tried to use a guy for his money. He tried to rape me..

Posted by LoveDistress09 on 7/1/2008 1:18:00 AM

When I was like, 14, I met this guy, (and since i don't want to start a man hunt or anything, I won't give a name), who treated me awesome for a while, giving me what ever i wanted. I was a poor child, I always was. So when someone new came into my life, someone who seemed to care, someone who gave me everything I asked for and more.. I was like..Damn, this is fucken awesome! So..when he asked me out..I was kinda wary..for lots of reasons..I was only 14, I was so young, I was inexpeirenced..and worst of all..He was over 19. (Pedophile-ish, eh? >.<) But..He had money. The ONE thing I truly wanted at tha point in time was money.

So.. For a couple weeks, we were going out, on and off, but still basically together. Everything was okay, I was getting what I wanted, I was sneaking around behind my parents backs and NOT getting caught for once. During that time though...He was moving a little fast. Asking for more then I was willing to give.. Finally, It got to the day..when he got fed up.
I'm not gonna go into details..it's hard enough to type just this...But..he tried to rape me that evening. Thank god though, I was saved; One of our close mutual friends burst in on us, ripping him off me, then beating him, grabbing me and what clothes he managed to get off me, and taking me to his car, and driving off. He took me to his place, and helped me get myself together, and calmed me down...I still to this day thank that he showed up when he did.

//I didn't see or hear anything from 'him' for the next while..
Then I got news that he had packed and left for england. I was happy, but kinda sad..Even though he hurt me and betrayed me, I had fallen for him...
Then a few monthes later, I saw him in a local mall, and he caught my eye, and gave me this look, a look that said: "I'm not finished with you yet..." and I was terrified...But I was with my family, so he didnt bother approaching me..thankfully.

Now..
3 and a half years later, I'm still terrified. I pray that today isnt the day he comes to find me.
I'm now scarred for life..scared to have lasting relationships..I'm so afraid of the oppisite sex..whenever one raises a hand against me, I freak on the inside..and get pissed on the outside, desperate to hide the fear. I'm still fighting my demons..But i'm hoping a day will come that I'll finally feel safe.. Until then, I'll keep dealing with my nightmares, and flashbacks..

And I'll keep waiting till the night that I can fall asleep without crying..

Tags: rape

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