I'm a total wreck of a person.
Posted by SweetxMasochism on 9/25/2008 10:19:00 PM
I've been depressed for several years, cut myself for almost three years, and been bulimic for almost a year. For a while I experimented with abuse of OTC meds, but I rarely do that anymore. I've been trying to tell my mom (I'm 15) so I can maybe get help, try and fix things. But I can't, just can't tell her. And yesterday I found out that she's still paying for my sister's weeklong session in a mental hospital--seven years later, at $100 a month. And our insurance doesn't cover therapy or anything, so what would be the point of telling her? But I can't go on like this.
And almost a year ago, I attempted suicide, got sent to the ER. But the doctors decided that I was just another attention-seeking poser teenager, so they released me a few hours later with a few less-than-kind words. I had one session with a therapist, who listened only to my mother (not me) and told me how I felt without listening to what I told him. After deciding for himself that I was just an impulsive teenager (I hardly count years of contemplation and months of planning an impulse), he gave me a metaphorical pat on the head and said I never had to go back.
In short: I have bulimia, and I'm a cutter and a suicide attempt. I want help, can't get it. I can't go on the way I've been living. I hate who I've become.
I'm a wreck, and there's no way out.
Tags: bulimia, self-injury, suicide, hatred
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And almost a year ago, I attempted suicide, got sent to the ER. But the doctors decided that I was just another attention-seeking poser teenager, so they released me a few hours later with a few less-than-kind words. I had one session with a therapist, who listened only to my mother (not me) and told me how I felt without listening to what I told him. After deciding for himself that I was just an impulsive teenager (I hardly count years of contemplation and months of planning an impulse), he gave me a metaphorical pat on the head and said I never had to go back.
In short: I have bulimia, and I'm a cutter and a suicide attempt. I want help, can't get it. I can't go on the way I've been living. I hate who I've become.
I'm a wreck, and there's no way out.
Tags: bulimia, self-injury, suicide, hatred
Comments
RSS feed for comments on this post.
try telling a friend that might help. tell your mom it will be hard but it is the right thing to do and in the long run it will help.
Posted by an anonymous user on 9/26/2008 5:16:00 PM (Report abuse)
There's something causing this depression - it may be chemical or it may be emotional - either way, you need to figure out where the source of the problem is, then you can begin to heal. If you can't do this on your own, try talking to another doctor or psychologist. Write out what you want to say beforehand and then let them have it all. If the doctor is any good at what they do, they'll realize you're not just looking for attention. Make sure to explain how long this has been going on.
You should also tell your mother. Help doesn't need to be expensive - there are plenty free clinics out there, the internet can provide tons of information, and even local Universities or Colleges may have psychology or nurse profs who would be willing to listen and maybe provide advice.
There ARE people out there who can help you - don't give up on the world and don't give up on yourself.
I didn't.
You should also tell your mother. Help doesn't need to be expensive - there are plenty free clinics out there, the internet can provide tons of information, and even local Universities or Colleges may have psychology or nurse profs who would be willing to listen and maybe provide advice.
There ARE people out there who can help you - don't give up on the world and don't give up on yourself.
I didn't.
Posted by an anonymous user on 9/26/2008 2:52:00 PM (Report abuse)
i love you, and you can always make it, even when you think you cant. trust me, i prayed for you.
Posted by an anonymous user on 9/26/2008 12:41:00 AM (Report abuse)