I'm ashamed of the teenager that I used to be.
I was such a horrible teenager, silly, deeply immature and dishonest. My behaviour got me into all sorts of bad trouble; teenage pregnancy and a date rape being probably the worst. But somehow as an adult now in my 40s, I've managed to crawl out of that abyss mainly through education and a good marriage. I now have a doctorate degree, a good job and a lovely family and husband. However my teenage self still lurks beneath the surface and I'm constantly racked with shame, guilt and anger. I can't tell anyone about the person I was because I'm afraid of what they might think of me if they knew the truth. I push people away and crave solitude. To be honest I spend most of my waking life afraid.....fear is my only true constant companion.
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