I'm so pretty
Posted by an anonymous user on 11/16/2008 10:28:00 PM
Everyone tells me that I have amazing eyes- they are so pretty and unique and long lashes.
And they tell me I have a pretty nose.
And they say my hair is so healthy and long and straight and they wish they had it.
And they say I have such a pretty voice.
And they say that they love how soft-spoken and kind-hearted and calm and mature and sweet I am.
They never comment on how FAT I am.
They don't know that I was anorexic from 6th to 10th grade, and I have so many issues with my body and self-confidence that I have seriously tried to kill myself twice in my life (once by pills, once by cutting).They don't know that I HATE myself and I can't stand who I am sometimes.They don't know how much I hate my body.They don't know that I will never ever be able to have a normal eating life.
They don't know how arrogant I am sometimes.They don't know that everytime they say I am pretty, I take it all in and become so grandiose that I truly think I am insane sometimes.They don't know that I say to myself EVERY SINGLE WAKING MOMENT of my life: "Once I lose weight, I will be BEAUTIFUL.I WILL HAVE THE WHOLE PACKAGE." They don't know that I think I am prettier than everyone else, it's just that I am overweight.
THey don't know how fucked up I am.
Tags: pretty, fat
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And they tell me I have a pretty nose.
And they say my hair is so healthy and long and straight and they wish they had it.
And they say I have such a pretty voice.
And they say that they love how soft-spoken and kind-hearted and calm and mature and sweet I am.
They never comment on how FAT I am.
They don't know that I was anorexic from 6th to 10th grade, and I have so many issues with my body and self-confidence that I have seriously tried to kill myself twice in my life (once by pills, once by cutting).They don't know that I HATE myself and I can't stand who I am sometimes.They don't know how much I hate my body.They don't know that I will never ever be able to have a normal eating life.
They don't know how arrogant I am sometimes.They don't know that everytime they say I am pretty, I take it all in and become so grandiose that I truly think I am insane sometimes.They don't know that I say to myself EVERY SINGLE WAKING MOMENT of my life: "Once I lose weight, I will be BEAUTIFUL.I WILL HAVE THE WHOLE PACKAGE." They don't know that I think I am prettier than everyone else, it's just that I am overweight.
THey don't know how fucked up I am.
Tags: pretty, fat
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when i got pregnant with my daughter (6 years ago) i gained 75 lbs----I am only 5 ft so I looked like a penguin. After I lost the weight I did not feel any different. I had to find another way to accept myself and it began with the inside...... I lost the weight and I did look better but I was still hurting on the inside... I got help and now I see myself as beautiful on the inside and out... and when ppl complement me I can now believe it... Now the suicide thing.. remember it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem so work on it and things will change!
You can do it
You can do it
Posted by an anonymous user on 11/17/2008 3:15:00 PM (Report abuse)
My daughter at 11 is going through the same exact thing. She's absolutely lovely, great personaltiy, and 98 lbs overweight. She has a love/hate relationship with herself. Every sentence is ' once I lose weight, I'll be...' Then off she goes to sneak eat somewhere. I want to help her so bad, have given her
her tools to lose the weight, but she continues to sabotage her life. When I read your secret, you sounded both insecure and arrogant at the same time.. To think that your 'far prettier then everyone else', is just plain arrogant and self-centered. You need balance in your life. Losing weight takes far more willpower then most people have. Get some counseling.
her tools to lose the weight, but she continues to sabotage her life. When I read your secret, you sounded both insecure and arrogant at the same time.. To think that your 'far prettier then everyone else', is just plain arrogant and self-centered. You need balance in your life. Losing weight takes far more willpower then most people have. Get some counseling.
Posted by babyhedred on 11/17/2008 4:28:00 AM (Report abuse)
i can relate to this. i don't think i'm very pretty, but i know i'm not unfortunate looking or homely. i'm overweight. but i would rather be pretty and fat than be skinny and ugly. i don't think i'll ever be a size five, but somedays i am okay with it.
good luck with your body image. you should seek some type of counseling. eating disorders and suicide are issues that i think alot of people just turn the other cheek to. :(
good luck with your body image. you should seek some type of counseling. eating disorders and suicide are issues that i think alot of people just turn the other cheek to. :(
Posted by alhjdfb on 11/16/2008 11:25:00 PM (Report abuse)