I'm so ugly and Fat. i just want to kill myself.

I feel so horrible at times, one mintute I can be happy than the next sad.i never feel pretty and when I do I look in the mirror in I just see I tall dark fat girl that have a smile on her face but in the inside is beating her head against the wall screaming on top of her lungs and crying with a soul deep cry.at times I just want to jump off a building or overdose on pills for the world will never have to see my uglyiness again.the kids at my school don't make fun of my weight but I see the look in their eyes when they look at me and hear the whispered words they say about me.i don't know what to do anymore I tryed killing myself once but didn't succed, then I start cutting myself but I stop because my skin was getting missed up badly and was just making me more ugly.i'm so alone and don't know what to do anymore wheither or not to kill myself and just get the pain over with or try to stick it out see if I will one day I will feel better.
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princesslatonya
I was actually doing a Google search and I stumble across this old post i made. and im shocked i felt like this when i'm much heavier now i know weigh 364 and at the time i made this post i weighed 315. I guess i been okay physically, i'm in college about to be a junior and plan on going to law school, and i have two boyfriends. but i still feel ugly because i am so fat and i'm trying to loose weigh i have been trying since i was a freshman in high school. so for 6 years i havent succeed in loosing weight but only gaining more weight and im currently thinking about starving myself and working my ass off with hell of excerise to lose 150 pounds and then get plastic surgery i.e. breast lift, full tummy tuck, thigh lift, and liposuction. then another 1 year of more exercise and hopefully by then i will have my dream body and will actually have a beautiful body . because i already have a gorgeous face and attitude except this side of me that no one knows about except the people on secrettalk. just not the body to match.
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princesslatonya
Wow hi latonya I dont know if you still even use this account, but I've been wondering how you've been doing?
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loveme1989
stick it out!

1) You need upbeat music. Remove ALL sad music from yourself.

2) Forget those affirmations telling you to look in the mirror and praise yourself. That's weak sauce. Whenever you're feeling down, just say "Voice-In-My-Head, STFU"

3) No cutting. Use notepad to express your feelings and don't save the file. That way, you won't look back at your sad feelings.
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Demo9

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