Jealousy and Disgusting

Posted by failure on 7/1/2008 2:01:00 AM

My best friend is a wonderful person and she secretly went for her driving test and passed no bother. I am really happy for her but I was so filled with jealousy, I've been learning for over a year scaping by to pay for lessons and I couldnt help myself but I got really upset. She's only been took lessons for a little while (paid for by Mum) and went out in her own car (part paid by Dad) with a friend then secretly booked and passed without saying a word. Went out with her last night and when I got home I burst into tears. Its not that Im not happy for her I really am, I just feel like such a digusting person for being jealous of her. Its horrible and revolting that I can be jealous of her when we've been through so much together. It hurts though because I didnt realise how much I wanted certain things until recently and Im trying my hardest to make things work but its not good enough. I hate that I cant seem to focus on the good things just now like my wonderful fiance. I hate being me right now, I just want to scrub this disgusting person off my body and out of my head. If Im forced to confront that its really just me I think I'll be sick.

Tags: jealous, bestfriend

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