My best friend is spiraling and I don't know how to help her

She was diagnosed with depression about a year after I met her. I've been with her through a lot and I know that she goes through these waves of up and down, but she's starting to worry me now. I've never seen her go this far down.

She was off of her antidepressants for a little while, and once she finally got more she refused to take them. She didn't tell anyone--she told me that she got her prescription refilled and from that I assumed she was taking them. It wasn't until today that I finally coaxed it out of her that she hadn't been taking them.

This isn't the first time she's refused to take her medication. I clearly remember a down-wave she went through in middle school; at one point during it, she threw her entire prescription bottle down the sink. I know that she hates taking her antidepressants because she hates the idea that she has to be dependent on drugs to begin to think and behave like an average person, and I've reminded her more than once that they're there to help--that she's in a hole right now, and while she could claw and climb her way out herself, she could just dig herself deeper in the process, and the antidepressants are a ladder.

This is the farthest down I've ever seen her. She's not herself anymore, and I can see it in every aspect of her. I don't see her in person--I moved across the country a few years ago--and I can still tell that something's seriously wrong. Her voice sounds different, she's slower to answer my texts, and all the enthusiasm and light seems to be drained from her. I'm getting worried about her, but I have no idea how to help her. I've managed to coax her into taking her antidepressant today and I've sent her a massively long text that basically said that while all those hope cliches are bullshit, there's some truth in them, and that she will come out of this and I will be there with her all the way through, but I feel like what I say and do doesn't make any difference any more. I really don't know how to help her, even though I desperately want to.
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sarita15
Sad truth is you can do all you can to help someone, but THEY need to want to help themselves too. People can help them, but they can't do all the helping, coping and healing for them. Try to do what you can, but your friend needs to help along the way too.
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jodyblow
I know it must be hard to deal with someone with serious depression and some of my close friends and ex girl friend gave up on me but I think the best thing you can do to help someone who has serious depression (well the way I want my friends to help) is to just be there. A good way to try and understand it is depression brings ideas into your head that you can't control, she'll feel hopeless and like things are awful and can never get better but it's not really her. Try and just talk to her about normal things aswell, depression makes you loose interest in the things you used to enjoy so she may seen uninterested but there may be times where she might want to talk. Ask her how she feeling and let her talk and show concern but don't spend the whole time talking about it. Sometimes she might not want to hear all the cliches but they do have a place. Try and remind her of the good things and things that could get better but it will probably take time for her to start to beleive them. Check up on her often and make sure shes getting help and staying safe but there is stuff she'll have to deal with alone
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ididitallforyou
Do you have her parents number or someones number close to her by her that you can call to inform? She can't do this alone and I know she has you but she needs someone that's there right beside her watching her take her meds. An adult needs to be told.
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Olivez