I think it started around when I was 11-12, my dad would show me lots of affection like kiss my cheeks alot, during that time, my mum was away in america for about 6 months and my dad would come into my room and tuck me in goodnight, but he would lie next to me and stroke my back and I didnt want him touching my front so I turned so my back faced him and his hands would go lower into my underwear just touching my butt but it wouldnt stay there for long and he never got further.
i think it stopped for a while and last year, he was away for half a year so I didnt have to deal with anything, altho I remember just before he left, he thought I was dieting and he told me it wasnt good because he said my breasts wouldnt grow and he went and touched them.
then when I went to see him on holiday, I was wearing a big tshirt for bed and he came in and felt up my chest under the duvet and I pushed him away and the next morning he told me he was sorry and hoped that I wasnt mad at him.
hes also really affectionate and I cant distinguish if its appropriate affection or bordering wrong affection and I cant go asking my friends because I guess I do feel that its wrong but I'm hoping someone will tell me that its normal behaviour so I wont feel so awful that this is happening cuz I really dont like it, the other day he rubbed his face on my hand and then licked it, and hes always hugging me from behind and kissing my neck.
this morning he came into my room when I was still in bed and gave me a back rub and then suddenly his other hand touched my breast and I pushed him off and he said he wanted to feel them to see how big they were and I said no so he kind of tried again and his hand that was on my back tried to get at my breast from there but I blocked him with my arm and then he stopped and kissed me cheek and went to work
i really dont know what to do, pleeease tell me that its not that bad, I cant tell my mum because I just cant, and I dont want my family to split up, I dont want to get conselling or for it to get out, I just want it to stop.argh.its so messed up.and I'm doing my gcse's this year, and I CANT fail them, otherwise i'll never get into a good university and get away from here.maybe ill just put up with it for another 2 years? and dont get me wrong, I do love my dad, but I just want him to stop it, it sounds worse written down than it is in my head and he hasnt touched me down there or anything like that so maybe its nothing??