Please dont hate me
Posted by an anonymous user on 5/27/2008 11:09:00 AM
Sometimes I wish I had never been born or that I wasn’t born into the family im in. No one gets me and sometimes I don’t get myself. I really wish my parents actually cared enough about me to accept me the way I am. I don’t want to be a doctor and I don’t think I ever wanted to. Its what everyone accepted of me and they don’t understand the pressure they put on me . I hate it. Now I’m confused about my life. I have no idea what I’m going to do with my life I don’t know where I’ll end up but I trust myself. My dad thinks I’m stupid, ignorant, overly confident, rude, and disrespectful but I don’t think I am. I don’t have time to make everyone else happy, I’ve been doing that my whole entire life and Im sick of it. I know I’ve changed but not for the worst like you think. I’m sick of you forcing me to sit and listen to you. Most of the time I try my hardest not to listen to you because it hurts so much. You think nothing of me. Please, leave me alone and let me do what I think is best for me. I don’t want to spend my whole life trying to make you happy when you made me so unhappy. Im not happy and I won’t be unless I do something about it. If you never want to speak to me anymore that fine, I really wish you would because I honestly don’t want to lose you as much as I say “I don’t care” I do.
I’ve always believed that if I were to die today, my family would miss me for a while but they would get over it pretty fast. My dad told me that it didn’t matter what happens to me because he would still have six kids left. Those words play in my heads repeatedly and they hurt each time. How could he say that to me, I know I can be difficult at times because of the things I say. I wake up and feel as though im being punished everyday and I honestly don’t think I’ve done anything or said anything that bad to make them hate me so much.
They think I’m going to end up doing drugs and getting pregnant before I’m married but I know I will never try drugs and I don’t plan on getting pregnant. They don’t trust me and I pray that they do. Im really not a bad person and I refuse to believe that I am just because they think so. I care so very much for my family and I want them to be proud of me but I can’t hide who I am because they don’t like my personality.
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I’ve always believed that if I were to die today, my family would miss me for a while but they would get over it pretty fast. My dad told me that it didn’t matter what happens to me because he would still have six kids left. Those words play in my heads repeatedly and they hurt each time. How could he say that to me, I know I can be difficult at times because of the things I say. I wake up and feel as though im being punished everyday and I honestly don’t think I’ve done anything or said anything that bad to make them hate me so much.
They think I’m going to end up doing drugs and getting pregnant before I’m married but I know I will never try drugs and I don’t plan on getting pregnant. They don’t trust me and I pray that they do. Im really not a bad person and I refuse to believe that I am just because they think so. I care so very much for my family and I want them to be proud of me but I can’t hide who I am because they don’t like my personality.
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Same here sista. Trust me i know excatly what your going through. im going through it to. You just gotta stick it out hun. They raised you and they did their best. if they dont think your an amazing kid,you need to talk to themm.. or someone.you have friends. im sure your school has a counseller.. you CAN be helped. the same thing happene d to me but now ive learned to put up with it.. but you should do better then me. go another step higher TELL SOMEONE! im just a drop of water in an endless sea. tell someone who can help you and your family. for your own sake
Posted by Mel on 5/27/2008 6:25:00 PM (Report abuse)