Recovering
Posted by lightthetunnel on 5/31/2008 11:13:00 AM
recovering from anorexia is hard enough alone. for the last month I've got my calorie intake to 1200, and in the last week to 1500. My meals are proportioned to protien, carbohydrates and vegtables as normal peoples are.
It's only in this last week my family have asked me if I'm anorexic. They're telling me to eat more. They have no idea about before, or why my hair is falling out or any of my health issues.
I wish they would leave me alone. Their harrasments turning me back to my other thoughts. Today more than anything I wish to purge. It scares me. I don't want to die, I don't want to have take aways every night like they do. I don't want to be 250 lbs, or 100lbs like I used to.
I have a week long holiday starting tomorrow on a cruise, with all meals paid for already. There will be no packets with numbers on them, there will only be resturant cooked food more than likely fried in fat, stared at by family. I'm going to do my damned best not to fake sea sickness after every meal.
Tags: anorexic, recovery, get, better, recover, hurt, family, holiday, cruise
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It's only in this last week my family have asked me if I'm anorexic. They're telling me to eat more. They have no idea about before, or why my hair is falling out or any of my health issues.
I wish they would leave me alone. Their harrasments turning me back to my other thoughts. Today more than anything I wish to purge. It scares me. I don't want to die, I don't want to have take aways every night like they do. I don't want to be 250 lbs, or 100lbs like I used to.
I have a week long holiday starting tomorrow on a cruise, with all meals paid for already. There will be no packets with numbers on them, there will only be resturant cooked food more than likely fried in fat, stared at by family. I'm going to do my damned best not to fake sea sickness after every meal.
Tags: anorexic, recovery, get, better, recover, hurt, family, holiday, cruise
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oh, my love, you will get through this.
I have been down that road and sat at the end of it for a while.
it's scary. but what's scarier is what it's doing to you.... BUUUUUUT. GOOD FOR YOU, you are getting better on your own. you are NOT anorexic. you are recovering. you are beautiful and brave for it.
enjoy the cruise like the vacation you deserve, ok?
I have been down that road and sat at the end of it for a while.
it's scary. but what's scarier is what it's doing to you.... BUUUUUUT. GOOD FOR YOU, you are getting better on your own. you are NOT anorexic. you are recovering. you are beautiful and brave for it.
enjoy the cruise like the vacation you deserve, ok?
Posted by Me on 6/2/2008 9:17:00 AM (Report abuse)
You can do it! Try eating healthier options, so you feel like you are still in control. Remember that you are much more beautiful at a normal weight than being too thin. And if you slip back into your old ways, that doesn't mean you can't stop right then and there and go back to being healthy! I promise you that you can do it! I did! Have a great vacation and just keep remembering that you are beautiful!
Posted by Adrienne on 5/31/2008 10:27:00 PM (Report abuse)
keep trying, it's great that you're breaking this awful habit! and don't worry, the food on cruises is actually SUPER healthy. just have a great time and don't worry about it!
Posted by Good luck! on 5/31/2008 10:13:00 PM (Report abuse)