Something is wrong. I'm not okay with sobriety, again. I have today and tomorrow off, and I'm not even alone, yet, and I'm already feeling tedious, bored to tears and pacey. I so want to be high, but my dispensery is out of the edibles I wanted to try. I'm considering just ordering bud and smoking again, even if just for the next two days, but I really don't want to blow my mostly smoke-free pride. The thing is that when I'm high, I get so much done, or things are really interesting and I'm peppy, and I need to get so much done. But, I'm such a slug in every way, right now. I have no drive, and I need it. I at least need to feel good.
Which means that I otherwise don't feel good enough, soberly. Which means something's wrong. Pretty sure I know what. Unfortunately, it's the big issue, the main one. The one I can't fix myself. And, so I pace, once again uncomfortable in my own skin.