Sorry, it's a bit long but please help guys...
Posted by Lemonade on 10/4/2008 9:09:00 PM
When I was 9 I was living overseas and I met an American girl at an international school.Eventually, we both returned to our home countries and haven't seen each other since.However, we kept in touch for six years with lengthy emails and phonecalls. I am 17 now, and we only stopped emailing a three monthes ago.
The reason we stopped emailing was because I wrote to tell her that I had lost my virginity to my boyfriend, who I am in love with.She wrote back a number of hurtful things, she congratulated me on being a teen statistic, she told me that she wished I'd stop trying to act like such a grown up, that she thought I was smarter than that and that she needed time to get over this.
I kept replying very politely, trying to explain my views on sex so that she could respect my views as much as I respect hers.However, after so many rude and abusive emails back, I finally cracked and sent her a really angry message asking her why SHE needed time to get over ME losing MY virginty and how dare she say all those things to me et cetera.
This was a bad idea because then she just got angry at me for losing my temper with her.She wrote me the nastiest email I have ever recieved and I just decided then and there to cut her out of my life, I never wrote back and I haven't heard from her since.
I realise that Americans have quite conservative views on sex, especially Jewish ones. (My friend was Jewish).But surely that doesn't mean that she can't respect my views even if she doesn't agree with them? Do you think I did the right thing?
Tags: virginity, bitch, friend, love, sex, email
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The reason we stopped emailing was because I wrote to tell her that I had lost my virginity to my boyfriend, who I am in love with.She wrote back a number of hurtful things, she congratulated me on being a teen statistic, she told me that she wished I'd stop trying to act like such a grown up, that she thought I was smarter than that and that she needed time to get over this.
I kept replying very politely, trying to explain my views on sex so that she could respect my views as much as I respect hers.However, after so many rude and abusive emails back, I finally cracked and sent her a really angry message asking her why SHE needed time to get over ME losing MY virginty and how dare she say all those things to me et cetera.
This was a bad idea because then she just got angry at me for losing my temper with her.She wrote me the nastiest email I have ever recieved and I just decided then and there to cut her out of my life, I never wrote back and I haven't heard from her since.
I realise that Americans have quite conservative views on sex, especially Jewish ones. (My friend was Jewish).But surely that doesn't mean that she can't respect my views even if she doesn't agree with them? Do you think I did the right thing?
Tags: virginity, bitch, friend, love, sex, email
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RSS feed for comments on this post.
i don't see why she should be so mad about your sex life.
but even if she was jewish she could at least be respectful about your views.
if not then she shouldn't be your friend. have you ever heard of the little poem thingie that goes something like:
"those who mind don't matter.
those matter don't mind"?
well i think you situation is sorta like that. although if you are doing something dangerous and your friends are trying to help you this doesn't exist. hope this helps.
but even if she was jewish she could at least be respectful about your views.
if not then she shouldn't be your friend. have you ever heard of the little poem thingie that goes something like:
"those who mind don't matter.
those matter don't mind"?
well i think you situation is sorta like that. although if you are doing something dangerous and your friends are trying to help you this doesn't exist. hope this helps.
Posted by hiddenchains on 10/23/2008 4:14:00 PM (Report abuse)
To RokkuRii and VagueMemories thankyou very much for you advice, you made me feel a lot better about the way I acted.
I also thank the anonymous user for his/her advice, as I suppose he/she speaks for my ex friend's side of the story. I would just like to say that even though I do not agree with what you said, I respect your views, just as I did respect my friends. I never argued with what she believed in, I only argued about her right to enforce it on me so rudely.
I have made my decision not to go after her, I'm actually glad in a way, because now I know that she wasn't a true friend because she didn't respect my decisions or my feelings.
I also thank the anonymous user for his/her advice, as I suppose he/she speaks for my ex friend's side of the story. I would just like to say that even though I do not agree with what you said, I respect your views, just as I did respect my friends. I never argued with what she believed in, I only argued about her right to enforce it on me so rudely.
I have made my decision not to go after her, I'm actually glad in a way, because now I know that she wasn't a true friend because she didn't respect my decisions or my feelings.
Posted by Lemonade on 10/6/2008 9:29:00 PM (Report abuse)
I can see where she's coming from.
Not all cultures and religions accept premarital sex.
She was probably hurt and disappointed that you did that. From my own experiences with friends who have lost their virginities, they all regret it later. They know they did the wrong thing and have thanked me later for being disappointed and upset with them.
I don't think you did the right thing.
Was your losing your virginity worth the friendship?
Was there anyway the both of you guys could have reached a compromise?
Yes.
You both could've talked it over.
You were both in the wrong.
It's not her fault, it's not your's.
She didn't understand your views and you didn't understand her's.
You're both in the wrong and both need to apologize.
While you're ahead, try and be the better person and apologize first because no friendships are worth losing over really retarded reasons.
Not all cultures and religions accept premarital sex.
She was probably hurt and disappointed that you did that. From my own experiences with friends who have lost their virginities, they all regret it later. They know they did the wrong thing and have thanked me later for being disappointed and upset with them.
I don't think you did the right thing.
Was your losing your virginity worth the friendship?
Was there anyway the both of you guys could have reached a compromise?
Yes.
You both could've talked it over.
You were both in the wrong.
It's not her fault, it's not your's.
She didn't understand your views and you didn't understand her's.
You're both in the wrong and both need to apologize.
While you're ahead, try and be the better person and apologize first because no friendships are worth losing over really retarded reasons.
Posted by an anonymous user on 10/5/2008 8:06:00 PM (Report abuse)
I think you made the right choice. She really shouldn't concern herself with your business, and the fact that you shared it to her meant that you felt you had a good relationship with her.
She clearly has her own issues with her sexuality, so she probably took it out on you. You really didn't deserve several spiteful letters. Props for you for taking the high road.
And not every american is conservative about sex like that ;P
Just depends on who the individual is :)
She clearly has her own issues with her sexuality, so she probably took it out on you. You really didn't deserve several spiteful letters. Props for you for taking the high road.
And not every american is conservative about sex like that ;P
Just depends on who the individual is :)
Posted by VagueMemories on 10/5/2008 5:04:00 AM (Report abuse)
Yes, you did the right thing. She had no right to act that way towards you. You don't deserve a friend who disrespects you like that.
Posted by RokkuRii on 10/4/2008 11:31:00 PM (Report abuse)