Want to kill myself
Posted by Kilo on 6/9/2008 2:01:00 PM
I'm 25 years old. my wife and me are not getting on (i love her,shes bored of me after a few years) , I love her more than life itself, I've been through retarded amounts of hurt and trauma in my life like many others and never thought id be okay, I thought eventually that Iwas meant to be in pain because nothing ever made me feel ok and I just kept getting fucked, till I met her and she ended it all for me and made me happy beyond belief, so the other day I went to the doctor and lied about insomnia to get a bottle of sleeping pills to do myself in as it is too hard and expensive to get a gun in vancouver, I got curious as to what would happen if I didnt die from the overdose and I found out that the specific drug I was given would cause permanent erectile disfunction if I didnt die, so I decided not to use these as they appeared to be too weak as well as the fact i'd rather fuck up anything but that and I dont want it to come across that im looking for attention or sympathy, I just want to make it all stop, my problems are ones that can never go away. i just want to die peacefully, but now i'm just going around conning doctors untill I get something that will do the trick with a bottle of scotch, it's only a matter of time, well see about having the balls when I find the right stuff, I used to think about my mom and what it would do to herof I died, but honestly I dont think she expected me to hang on this long.
I love her so much it's pathetic and she wont even smile at me.
Tags: kill, myself
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I love her so much it's pathetic and she wont even smile at me.
Tags: kill, myself
Comments
RSS feed for comments on this post.
please my amigo it doesnt have to come to this, yoursituation will get better, alot of times we struggle in life, and feel horrible amounts of pain, and not even knowing the reason why. please just remain strong, and seek help. ive been there before and i made it thru, so can u. be at peace.
Posted by an anonymous user on 9/13/2008 6:01:00 AM (Report abuse)
In relationship with married man ,i try got out but i can not because i love him . i really want to go now
Posted by an anonymous user on 8/28/2008 6:28:00 PM (Report abuse)
I have to disagree. I am at the same point as you. I can't take it anymore. I love my exhusband more than my life. All I have ever wanted is to have a home and a family. He messed up my credit and always comes back to me and I choose to believe he didn't sleep with some whore but I know in my heart he did. I have had at least 5 miscarriages. My father was the only one I could fall back on if I had problems and he died unexpectedly at 65 years old a couple of months ago and his will just vanished leaving my brother and sister with everything that I was promised(I was his favorite and he couldn't even stand to be around my sister). I have been working at home and business is so slow that I can't even pay my rent! The harder I try the worse things are. I just want to end it all, my exhusband tells me everything I do is wrong! I am tired of everything, I am never going to have what I want, I would be better off dead! I have tried going to the doctor, there is no fixing this, I am good for nothing!
Posted by an anonymous user on 8/27/2008 4:45:00 PM (Report abuse)
don't do it. it'll kill her. your wife. don't leave her.
Posted by Stacey on 7/15/2008 5:20:00 AM (Report abuse)
I dont know you. But I care about you.
I have also suffered emotional hurt and still hurt today.
Hold on. You WILL have better days. There is a reason why...let life happen as it is suppose to.
There is a better life ahead. Trust in that. I will pray for you.
I have also suffered emotional hurt and still hurt today.
Hold on. You WILL have better days. There is a reason why...let life happen as it is suppose to.
There is a better life ahead. Trust in that. I will pray for you.
Posted by Susan on 7/2/2008 9:31:00 AM (Report abuse)
did anti depressants from the ages of 13 on to 22, i've tried them all and they just made me more haywire, therapies been done to death and drags out too emotion for me to handle at this time, we ro it leaves me emotionally exhausted and unable to cope, we went on a rollercoaster last week when i took her the out the fair all day and we spent probably our final happy moments together
thank you so much for trying, it helps even if my options are exhausted
thank you so much for trying, it helps even if my options are exhausted
Posted by K on 6/10/2008 12:12:00 PM (Report abuse)
Don't kill yourself, it's not worth it, I promise.
If your wife and you aren't getting along well, try couples therapy or something, or just talk to her about everything you're feeling--she may not even know.
I know that things can get really really hard, and sometimes it seems like there's no way out, and that hurting yourself or doing something--anything--to end the pain and frustration is the only thing to do...
but it's not. talk to your wife, your mom, your friends, a therapist. See if the therapist can prescribe an antidepressant. sometimes taking them seems like an easy way out, or silly, or pointless, but take them. They'll help you feel like life could be worth living.
Throw yourself into something you've never done before. Paint. Draw. Write. Sing. Climb a mountain and scream from the top of it. Force yourself into an adrenaline rush. Get on a rollercoaster. (when was the last time you did that?) Learn to ride a horse. Go running. Or go find a little Schadenfreude (it's basically the feeling of being glad you're not someone else). What are you grateful for?
There's so much to live for. Please think twice.
If your wife and you aren't getting along well, try couples therapy or something, or just talk to her about everything you're feeling--she may not even know.
I know that things can get really really hard, and sometimes it seems like there's no way out, and that hurting yourself or doing something--anything--to end the pain and frustration is the only thing to do...
but it's not. talk to your wife, your mom, your friends, a therapist. See if the therapist can prescribe an antidepressant. sometimes taking them seems like an easy way out, or silly, or pointless, but take them. They'll help you feel like life could be worth living.
Throw yourself into something you've never done before. Paint. Draw. Write. Sing. Climb a mountain and scream from the top of it. Force yourself into an adrenaline rush. Get on a rollercoaster. (when was the last time you did that?) Learn to ride a horse. Go running. Or go find a little Schadenfreude (it's basically the feeling of being glad you're not someone else). What are you grateful for?
There's so much to live for. Please think twice.
Posted by P on 6/10/2008 3:31:00 AM (Report abuse)
So no booze then, good point i never thought about than, nix the liquor
Posted by K on 6/9/2008 11:02:00 PM (Report abuse)
if you take pills and booze you'll just throw up and you will survive so don't waste your time. Find something to make you happy about you!
Posted by Doogie howser on 6/9/2008 8:51:00 PM (Report abuse)