What's wrong with me?
Posted by StuckinaRut on 10/16/2008 7:23:00 PM
I hate myself
I can’t stand who I am…..
I finally got help because my mom found out
She didn’t know the half of it
Yesterday I “graduated” from therapy.
I don’t cut anymore….Although I did when I forgot to take my meds
I became overwhelmed with everything all at once and I couldn’t figure out why.
I realized the next day why everything suddenly seemed hopeless and now I feel worse. I hate the fact that I need medication to be happy and not kill myself right now at this moment… what’s wrong with me? I keep telling myself that it’s not my fault, that I have a chemical imbalance in my brain… but how long can I keep that up?
I’ve always been larger than my sister… and my mom, so I used to attempt to starve myself. I finally stopped for a while, but started working out and for once I’m finally smaller than my sister and mom. Everyone couldn’t believe how “good” I looked and asked me how I did it. They were all so surprised and told me I looked great. I finally felt a little better about myself. Now however I hate myself, I can’t stand myself… I hurt myself everyday to feel physical pain other than the emotional crap in my head. Only ate dinner yesterday….I had to, my parents were watching….
Today, a guy whistled at me....I keep looking for things to tell me that what I'm doing is wrong, but I everyone likes this new me.....
Tags: don't, know, what, do, anymore.....
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I can’t stand who I am…..
I finally got help because my mom found out
She didn’t know the half of it
Yesterday I “graduated” from therapy.
I don’t cut anymore….Although I did when I forgot to take my meds
I became overwhelmed with everything all at once and I couldn’t figure out why.
I realized the next day why everything suddenly seemed hopeless and now I feel worse. I hate the fact that I need medication to be happy and not kill myself right now at this moment… what’s wrong with me? I keep telling myself that it’s not my fault, that I have a chemical imbalance in my brain… but how long can I keep that up?
I’ve always been larger than my sister… and my mom, so I used to attempt to starve myself. I finally stopped for a while, but started working out and for once I’m finally smaller than my sister and mom. Everyone couldn’t believe how “good” I looked and asked me how I did it. They were all so surprised and told me I looked great. I finally felt a little better about myself. Now however I hate myself, I can’t stand myself… I hurt myself everyday to feel physical pain other than the emotional crap in my head. Only ate dinner yesterday….I had to, my parents were watching….
Today, a guy whistled at me....I keep looking for things to tell me that what I'm doing is wrong, but I everyone likes this new me.....
Tags: don't, know, what, do, anymore.....
Comments
RSS feed for comments on this post.
Confidence is the sexiest thing ever, regardless of how "large" you might have been.
I know of a girl who is 160-or so, and is so confident in herself that she is beautiful because of that. I would have never noticed her had she not been so bright and positive.
Be confident. Step in front of a mirror and repeat 3 things that you like about yourself, even if it's a lie. Every day for a month, two times each day. You'll feel the difference.
I know of a girl who is 160-or so, and is so confident in herself that she is beautiful because of that. I would have never noticed her had she not been so bright and positive.
Be confident. Step in front of a mirror and repeat 3 things that you like about yourself, even if it's a lie. Every day for a month, two times each day. You'll feel the difference.
Posted by Penguin on 10/17/2008 12:34:00 AM (Report abuse)
their is nothing wrong with you and you should realize that as soon as you do you will feel better the reason the whistled at you was he thought you were hot just be happy =]
-Requiem
-Requiem
Posted by requiem on 10/16/2008 9:41:00 PM (Report abuse)