i always have a smile on my face, but somehow people think im cold and distant. you can easy break my heart and my feelings can be hurted very easily.
older people like me very much, they all say im very responsible and nice. guys my age, think im outsider. i dont mind. im confident, but at the same time, i hate my looks. sometimes i think i will end up alone forever. without housband and 6 children, which is (secretly) my biggest dream.
what worries me the most, is my crazy ideas lately.
this was my thought the other day: why dont i try to comit a suicide, but just to try and be sure i dont actually kill myself, so people would pay more attention to me.. can you belive that?
i guess i really need to talk with somebody.
well, i guess im still in puberty. yeah, sure. im 18, god damit.
Tags: life,
suicide
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