Why do I fuck up so much?

Posted by an anonymous user on 7/14/2008 5:46:00 AM

I left the one I love, for the one I like. Well I mean, That's how it seemed to be. When I first starting talking to him, he was amazing. Sweet, kind, adorable, just seemed perfect. Then he got all of these mood swings, and pushed me away. I was in love with him. We didn't talk for about a month. I met another boy, who is my boyfriend now. But he just thought he can come right back into my life, like he didn't nothing wrong. And I let him. We became friends. And I knew I would start falling for him again, I did. But I choose someone else this time. Now he's proving me wrong.

My boyfriend is amazing, unbelievably amazing. But he's all too nice. I mean, I know thats what I want and all but I don't know. I recently turned 14, And he's soon to be 17. Is age too much? The one I love, only just turned 16. That age is better. But who do I want? I don't know if I'll ever be able to decide.

He's starting to show me he cares, And seems to be fighting for me. He claims to love me. And I love him, With everything I have. But it's all too much. We fight constantly, And that would never work.

My boyfriend has heart problems. He just went to the hospital lastnight. I feel that I love him, too. But then I also feel like I'm only sticking around wih him because I feel bad. He deserves someone so much better. But I couldn't bare to lose him. Either of them. I just don't know who I want.

I'm 14 years of age. I'm your average sceney bopper with a life with of stupid gaaay drama bullshit. I'm 5'5" and 115 lbs. I know I'm pretty, not to sound conceited. I am, or so people say. My boyfriend tells me he doesn't care about my looks, never says I'm pretty or anything. So now it makes me feel ugly. He's all about "It's what's inside that counts." Nonsense. The other boy tells me I'm gorgeous nonstop, but with a meaning that gives me butterflies. Tells me I have the perfect body, I love it. I LOVE to be compliemented.

This kid is amazing. I'm the ONLY girl in his life. He's reccently been depressed and I'm trying to make this whole friends deal work out. I barely ever get to hangout with him anymore. I've always wanted to know what it feels like to kiss his lips. I want too, soo bad. But I would never cheat on a boyfriend. If I were to date him, then I KNOW for a fact it'd be true love. When I date someone, I am completely dedicated to them. And so is he. That's what I want. But I'm so afriad with the constant fights, and mood swings and whatnot, that it would end so quickly.

I want faith, and hope. Something, anything, EVERYTHING. I want it all. But thats not right.

What do I do? How do I choose? Who do I really love? And who will be there with me til the end?

Why is love so hard to find? How do I know when hes the one?

I know I'm young. And from your point of view, probably to young to love. But My grandparents found each other when they were 10. It was love from then on. They've been together for over 50 years now. My parents rushed into things, and now their marriage is in the gutters. Divorced.
I want something like My grandparents. But I need a guideline. No mistakes. I need something.

Tags: boyfriend, choose, love, like

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