I know the feeling, it's bittersweet to some extent, but it always leaves you with a longing in the heart.
You have to earn the chance to better yourself. By earning it, you do make yourself better by meeting the requirements, and that isn't done by being "able to draw breath on any given day"
You have no idea how wrong that is.
I never came to terms with what it was, so how can you use it as a reason to rise above? There has to be an acknowledgement of the problem before you can harness it.
Quoth the raven. . . nevermore.