patheticity
When I first read the title, I automatically assumed that this was another hoax from someone seeking attention. But I read further, and this at least seems somewhat genuine.
It's sad that people like your mother exist, and I'm very sorry you had to experience what you did. Society at large is still somewhat uncomfortable with addressing issues of incest, especially ones as depraved as this. But the fact that you were able to ask for understanding in such a mature way indicates that there's still hope for mankind to eventually learn how to confront these issues on a large scale, and help eliminate events of incest before they happen. Like any other societal issue, the first step to solving the problem is to increase awareness.
I was molested by my own brother when I was much younger, and I can understand the feelings that go along with that. You may feel that her forcing you to do those things was partially your fault, because you "gave in" to them. That's not the case. This is 100% your mother's fault. She knew that what she was doing was wrong, and when she knew that you were resisting, she resorted to blackmail.
I'm not sure how old you are, so I don't know if you have access to school counselors and whatnot. If you went to one of them, they would be required by law to report to the authorities. If that's what you want to happen, then please take that route. Some people seek retribution for their molesters, and want them to meet justice however possible, and believe me, these people deserve it. Others, however, choose to instead remove themselves with the situation completely, and don't concern themselves with revenge or justice because that would mean still having to deal with them. If this is the course you'd rather take: that's ok too. Molesters like your mother will meet their fate in one way or another. Until then, if simply cutting off contact with her will allow you to grow and mature in a healthy, positive way, then by all means, do. If the contact you'd have with her during the legal process would only hamper your personal growth by re-hashing so many negative emotions, then trust me-it's not worth the effort. Just do what YOU need to do to move on.
Believe me, that type of mother/son relationship is NOT normal. If I were you, I'd spend my time trying to pursue and maintain other healthy relationships--whether they be of the platonic, friendly, romantic, or mentor/mentee variety. That way, if and when you ever become a parent, you will have enough experience with healthy relationships to break the cycle of abuse that so often occurs in cases like this. The psychological damage that your mother inflicted on you is major. But if you focus on the positive, and give yourself all the credit that you deserve, you can undoubtedly overcome it.
It's sad that people like your mother exist, and I'm very sorry you had to experience what you did. Society at large is still somewhat uncomfortable with addressing issues of incest, especially ones as depraved as this. But the fact that you were able to ask for understanding in such a mature way indicates that there's still hope for mankind to eventually learn how to confront these issues on a large scale, and help eliminate events of incest before they happen. Like any other societal issue, the first step to solving the problem is to increase awareness.
I was molested by my own brother when I was much younger, and I can understand the feelings that go along with that. You may feel that her forcing you to do those things was partially your fault, because you "gave in" to them. That's not the case. This is 100% your mother's fault. She knew that what she was doing was wrong, and when she knew that you were resisting, she resorted to blackmail.
I'm not sure how old you are, so I don't know if you have access to school counselors and whatnot. If you went to one of them, they would be required by law to report to the authorities. If that's what you want to happen, then please take that route. Some people seek retribution for their molesters, and want them to meet justice however possible, and believe me, these people deserve it. Others, however, choose to instead remove themselves with the situation completely, and don't concern themselves with revenge or justice because that would mean still having to deal with them. If this is the course you'd rather take: that's ok too. Molesters like your mother will meet their fate in one way or another. Until then, if simply cutting off contact with her will allow you to grow and mature in a healthy, positive way, then by all means, do. If the contact you'd have with her during the legal process would only hamper your personal growth by re-hashing so many negative emotions, then trust me-it's not worth the effort. Just do what YOU need to do to move on.
Believe me, that type of mother/son relationship is NOT normal. If I were you, I'd spend my time trying to pursue and maintain other healthy relationships--whether they be of the platonic, friendly, romantic, or mentor/mentee variety. That way, if and when you ever become a parent, you will have enough experience with healthy relationships to break the cycle of abuse that so often occurs in cases like this. The psychological damage that your mother inflicted on you is major. But if you focus on the positive, and give yourself all the credit that you deserve, you can undoubtedly overcome it.
Oh my God.
Are you my sister?
Because it sounds like we have the same parents.
Are you my sister?
Because it sounds like we have the same parents.
Well, it's good that you realize it.
I smoke pot occasionally, but I've never been addicted. But it seems as though substance abuse runs in your family, so you know what need to do. And, well, not do.
I smoke pot occasionally, but I've never been addicted. But it seems as though substance abuse runs in your family, so you know what need to do. And, well, not do.
Um, get some help. Like, now.
Explain it by saying your boyfriend is a complete fucktard and you've just left him and had him thrown in jail.
Sounds like a good explanation, no?
My sister-in-law's husband beat her up, and she had the good sense to divorce him. Now he has visitation rights on certain weekends for his kids, and he showed his gratitude for that by hitting his oldest son for trying to defend her. My suggestion is that you stop trying to explain away his behavior, leave him ASAP, and have him thrown in jail before there are kids in the picture for him to direct his abuse to later.
Sounds like a good explanation, no?
My sister-in-law's husband beat her up, and she had the good sense to divorce him. Now he has visitation rights on certain weekends for his kids, and he showed his gratitude for that by hitting his oldest son for trying to defend her. My suggestion is that you stop trying to explain away his behavior, leave him ASAP, and have him thrown in jail before there are kids in the picture for him to direct his abuse to later.
I know I'm in love because I would give up my life to protect my significant other. I give myself entirely over to him, because I know he does the same.
NOOOO WALDO!!! COME BACK! COME BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!
I'm guessing that if you masturbate, you wouldn't do it to the point where it hurt. Sex hurts for the first time because it breaks the hymen. Fingering yourself beforehand wouldn't do any good unless you did it to the point where the hymen breaks... and like I said, I doubt you'd purposely hurt yourself. Most people instinctually stop what they were doing if it started to hurt. Sex and masturbation are supposed to be pleasurable, after all--at least after the first time.
First-time-sex isn't like it's shown in movies. The vaginal walls need to stretch a bit, and the hymen needs to break in order for sex to eventually become more physically pleasurable. Don't worry, though. The vagina is made to accomodate (how else would we push babies through them?), so there shouldn't be any pain after the first couple of times. (If there is, it's time to consult your doctor.)
Instead of focusing on what it'll feel like, anticipate the great emotional connection you'll have with your boyfriend when you make love for the first time. Once you both get more accustomed to your body's rhythms and preferences, then you'll start getting more comfortable with each other, and the feeling will get better and better. A key factor of this is COMMUNICATION. If you don't like what your boyfriend is doing, or if a particular position hurts, tell him so. Also, don't be afraid to ask him to try different techniques and positions. You're young, you're new at this--so experiment. Masturbation is key to knowing beforehand where it feels best. For most women, the clitoris is a major (if not THE major) pleasure zone... so don't be afraid to ask him to stimulate you there.
Hope this helps.
First-time-sex isn't like it's shown in movies. The vaginal walls need to stretch a bit, and the hymen needs to break in order for sex to eventually become more physically pleasurable. Don't worry, though. The vagina is made to accomodate (how else would we push babies through them?), so there shouldn't be any pain after the first couple of times. (If there is, it's time to consult your doctor.)
Instead of focusing on what it'll feel like, anticipate the great emotional connection you'll have with your boyfriend when you make love for the first time. Once you both get more accustomed to your body's rhythms and preferences, then you'll start getting more comfortable with each other, and the feeling will get better and better. A key factor of this is COMMUNICATION. If you don't like what your boyfriend is doing, or if a particular position hurts, tell him so. Also, don't be afraid to ask him to try different techniques and positions. You're young, you're new at this--so experiment. Masturbation is key to knowing beforehand where it feels best. For most women, the clitoris is a major (if not THE major) pleasure zone... so don't be afraid to ask him to stimulate you there.
Hope this helps.
Tell him the truth. He's your friend, so he doesn't deserve any less than that.
does he love you?
I'm glad we could make her day a little brighter, then.
My day was relatively productive, thanks. Yours?
Refresh my memory, if you could? I can't remember what that one was about. I've posted way more things today than I usually do.
gtsb, what post to secretstalker were you talking about?
oh, yeah! I was wondering what happened to that one.
:(
You really did help me out with my dream, Atom. I was looking forward to picking your brain about it some more.
I wish you well, ok?
You really did help me out with my dream, Atom. I was looking forward to picking your brain about it some more.
I wish you well, ok?
...this post made me think of something.
A while ago (at least several weeks past) I read a secret about a girl who was resorting to anorexia and taking advantage of the decreased appetite she gets when she takes Adderall. She was limiting herself to about 400 calories a day.
I was having a royally awful day that day, and was in a foul mood. As a result, I was rather mean in my comment.
In fact, another user had commented saying, "I would recommend not listening to Patheticity. She sounds like a bitch."
Well, I'd not listen to me then either. I WAS a bitch. I'm very sorry that I was so critical that day. What I meant to say was that I hope you find a healthful way to reach your goals. One that doesn't damage your eyesight.
Please forgive me.
(P.S.--I take adderall too. I try really hard to eat despite the lack of appetite.)
A while ago (at least several weeks past) I read a secret about a girl who was resorting to anorexia and taking advantage of the decreased appetite she gets when she takes Adderall. She was limiting herself to about 400 calories a day.
I was having a royally awful day that day, and was in a foul mood. As a result, I was rather mean in my comment.
In fact, another user had commented saying, "I would recommend not listening to Patheticity. She sounds like a bitch."
Well, I'd not listen to me then either. I WAS a bitch. I'm very sorry that I was so critical that day. What I meant to say was that I hope you find a healthful way to reach your goals. One that doesn't damage your eyesight.
Please forgive me.
(P.S.--I take adderall too. I try really hard to eat despite the lack of appetite.)
You're right. Not many people post secrets anymore. But that's because whenever anybody posts one, especially if it's a particularly embarrassing, painful, or shameful to the point where they just want to get it off their chest, they're often ripped apart by people who call them nasty, despicable names--and justify it as "brutal honesty" or a "wake up call". A veritable e-war often ensues, and where there once was a person who came here for support, there's a person who's afraid to post an actual secret--for fear of this so-called "brutal honesty."
As a result, secrettalk is more a place to post... well, anything a person wants to post, as opposed to plain-old secrets.
As a result, secrettalk is more a place to post... well, anything a person wants to post, as opposed to plain-old secrets.
What's going on, gtsb?